the future ~ my future
It's 2am on a cold Tuesday night during my summer holiday, what am i doing? Going to a party? Staying at a friends? Getting a good nights sleep?
no.
I'm in a cold sweat, panicking about something i cannot change at this moment in time, my future.
Since midnight (when i went to sleep) the only thing on my mind has been this collision of uncertain and scary thoughts plaguing my head and not lifting to leave me in peace.
I had the vision where i was a successful a-level student, thus going to Ox Bridge and gaining a first, and being a top/high flying/very successful woman about town. I had the idea that i was going to drop out of sixth form and become a model, to have a good break and also be an actress, becoming globally known. Finally i had the one where i just traveled the world, spreading peace and love, teaching yoga to all and raising money for various charities along my journey- i think i enjoyed this one the most.
Although i enjoyed each little story in their own way, they scared me to death, leaving me fearing the next day, the next stepping stone in my life. I'm now worried that i won't end up in any scenario i ever dreamed of, resulting in me living a life i don't want to live. I'm now worried that i'll end up unhappy and alone, in a high flying job, but with no one with me to share the joys of life. I'm now worried that i'll never see any scenario at all, and that i am in fact wasting my life, wasting my existence, and that those many hours spent watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S, The big bang theory and Broad City, were wasted hours. And that i'll end up being twenty regretting every single choice i ever made in my teens.
In all, I am worried about the unknown.
I have always been a systematic person, i like to know what i'm doing, who with, at what time and what it will entail. I don't like it when a friend says 'just come over, chill, and we'll find a party to go to and crash at mine in the morning'. I get huge anxiety over those sorts of comments, 'what do you mean you don't have a plan?'.
This way of thinking enabled me to do well in secondary school, GCSE revision was a breeze- I had planned it all out, it means i am never, ever, late, and i always have a plan b.
This way of thinking has lead me to becoming extremely worried about the 'what if's' in life. 'What if i don't get that A', 'what if we can't crash at that house overnight?'. This resulted in an extremely anxious borderline paranoid young girl, not enjoying her present situation because her mind was too focused on the future.
I think this is the reason the future scares me so much, it's totally unknown, no matter what i plan for myself, something could come into my path, or find its way out of it, leaving me stranded, alone on my little island of no change.
I have absolutely no control to plan out my life, but I've decided that instead of waking up like this scared witless over that fact, i'm going to embrace it.
It's hard, it's challenging my whole way of thinking, but i'm enjoying it. i'm no longer going to be sat on the bus on the way to somewhere worried over what i'm doing for the whole day and scheduling it, i'm daydreaming of where it could take me and the positives of that.
I urge you to do the same, if your scared of something, face it. Whether it be spiders, clowns or commitment, i want you to face that fear, the same way i'm facing mine. Let's go on this journey together, let us see a person we never knew we could be, and let's hope that we can look back and laugh- because that's the best thing to look back upon.
Tuesday, 12 August 2014
Monday, 7 July 2014
2 Ingredient Cookies
These cookies= the worlds easiest cookies
Not only are these cookies super easy and quick to make, they're also suitable for breakfast, mid-day snack, afternoon snack and as a pudding, and they're near enough guilt free!
Ingredients:
- 1 ripe banana
- just over 1/4 cup of oats ( or just add until it resembles images below in method)
- 1 tsp of vanilla extract
- the filling/flavouring of your choice, I went for 4 different ones
Not only are these cookies super easy and quick to make, they're also suitable for breakfast, mid-day snack, afternoon snack and as a pudding, and they're near enough guilt free!
 |
| they even resemble proper cookies! |
- 1 ripe banana
- just over 1/4 cup of oats ( or just add until it resembles images below in method)
- 1 tsp of vanilla extract
- the filling/flavouring of your choice, I went for 4 different ones
- raisins
- cinnamon
- walnuts
- honey
Method:
- Preheat your oven to around 180c, peel, slice and mash your banana
- Add the oats, I measured around 1/4-1/2 cup per banana- although if you don't have cup measurements, just add by eye, no need for weighing with this recipe! Then mix with the mashed banana until it looks like below.
- Then I add around 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla extract, because they need the extra flavour boost, otherwise they only taste of an oddly textured banana...
- For the sake of this post I divided my mix into 4 to show 4 different variations. On each quarter is a different flavour, either walnuts, honey, cinnamon or raisins- take your pick of which bit to go for, or choose your own! Chocolate chips, dried cranberries or fresh blueberries would work perfectly.
- I then rolled each section into a cookie shape and placed onto a baking tray, this recipe makes around 4 medium sized cookies- so perfect for 4, or 1 very hungry person!
- Place into your preheated oven and bake for around 10 minutes, I like my cookies really gooey and just about cooked, so if you prefer a firmir, harder one then leave in for around 15-20 minutes. All that's left now is to tidy up:(
- Now just enjoy your cookies, I had mine with a green tea (who loves my mug??) and series five of sex and the city!
Quinoa- the right way
Quinoa- that grain I bought in a moment of 'ohohoh! That's the thing that I had that one time in a salad pot, with a load of ingredients they don't sell in Sainsburys- and I have no idea how on earth to use it, but hey, it sounds cool'.
So basically I ended up buying this bag of quinoa with no idea of how it should be cooked, eaten or what it really tasted of, but I sure am glad I did.
The Facts- quinoa is pronounced as keen-wa, who knew???? Not me. Not least until a friend nearly fainted when I mispronounced it as quin-oa.
The quinoa that we eat is the seeds of a grain crop called 'goosefoot', the reason so many love it???
It's high in protein- so great for muscle building, low in gluten andandand it's incredibly tolerant of dry soil- so it grows easily in many countries that have little rainfall meaning that many farmers can get a reliable crop growth.
The Cooking- I had tried quinoa before in a little salad pot from M&S, where it was covered in some sort of sauce and mixed with a tonne of vegetables I had never heard of, so when it came to inspiration on how to cook it, I was at a dead end.
I scoured the net to find an interesting recipe and clear, detailed instructions on how to cook it so that it didn't taste of nothing. Most recipes that I found focused around two aspects of use, either stuffing a vegetable with it or making it into a salad, but with the other elements-i.e other vegetables-taking centre stage. I didn't want that, I wanted to cook a grain that actually tasted of something so that I wouldn't have to drown it in a high calorie, high fat sauce.
Then I realised, it's like cauliflower, people complain about cauliflower not tasting of anything, not realising that the reason it tastes bland is because they've just boiled it. The same goes for quinoa, if it's simply boiled then of course it's not going to magically have some incredible flavour.
Sooooo when the quinoa was cooking, or is it being rehydrated? Because it absorbs the water and swells up so it can be eaten, a bit like dried pasta, I added some flavours so that when it absorbed the water, it also absorbed some flavour.
INGREDIENTS- for one
- 1/4 cup of quinoa
- 1/2 cup of boiling water
- 1 teaspoon of smoked paprika
- 1/4 teaspoon of cayenne pepper
- a pinch of salt and black pepper
- whatever veggies you want, I went for...
Step One: Measure out around1/4 of a cup of quinoa per person, which is around 40g, then add around 100ml of water and swirl it around in a pan, drain away the water after a few minutes, this means that the quinoa won't taste bitter (hopefully!).
Step Two:Keeping the rinsed quinoa in a small/medium saucepan add around 1/2 a cup of boiling water, turn on the heat to high, put a lid on it and wait for it to boil. Once it has reached a rolling boil,add around 1/2 teaspoon of paprika, pinch of salt, pinch of pepper and a little bit of cayenne pepper. However these flavours can be changed to suit you.
Step Three: Whilst the quinoa is cooking it's time to chop your chosen vegetables/meats/fish etcetcetc- basically anything you want to add to your quinoa.
Step Four : Once the quinoa is cooked ( you should be able to tell when this is done as all the water has been absorbed and just the quinoa remains in the saucepan-however sometimes more water is needed as it can still be a little undercooked) just add your veg/meat/fish and quinoa in a big bowl, and give it a big mix up.
Step Five: Personally I like to drizzle on a little balsamic vinegar to my salad to add a little sweetness, but again this can be changed to suit your tastebuds.
I hope you find now that quinoa isn't that impossible grain that seemed so scary, and that you can use this method to build upon and enjoy the great food that it is!
So basically I ended up buying this bag of quinoa with no idea of how it should be cooked, eaten or what it really tasted of, but I sure am glad I did.
The Facts- quinoa is pronounced as keen-wa, who knew???? Not me. Not least until a friend nearly fainted when I mispronounced it as quin-oa.
The quinoa that we eat is the seeds of a grain crop called 'goosefoot', the reason so many love it???
It's high in protein- so great for muscle building, low in gluten andandand it's incredibly tolerant of dry soil- so it grows easily in many countries that have little rainfall meaning that many farmers can get a reliable crop growth.
The Cooking- I had tried quinoa before in a little salad pot from M&S, where it was covered in some sort of sauce and mixed with a tonne of vegetables I had never heard of, so when it came to inspiration on how to cook it, I was at a dead end.
I scoured the net to find an interesting recipe and clear, detailed instructions on how to cook it so that it didn't taste of nothing. Most recipes that I found focused around two aspects of use, either stuffing a vegetable with it or making it into a salad, but with the other elements-i.e other vegetables-taking centre stage. I didn't want that, I wanted to cook a grain that actually tasted of something so that I wouldn't have to drown it in a high calorie, high fat sauce.
Then I realised, it's like cauliflower, people complain about cauliflower not tasting of anything, not realising that the reason it tastes bland is because they've just boiled it. The same goes for quinoa, if it's simply boiled then of course it's not going to magically have some incredible flavour.
Sooooo when the quinoa was cooking, or is it being rehydrated? Because it absorbs the water and swells up so it can be eaten, a bit like dried pasta, I added some flavours so that when it absorbed the water, it also absorbed some flavour.
INGREDIENTS- for one
- 1/4 cup of quinoa
- 1/2 cup of boiling water
- 1 teaspoon of smoked paprika
- 1/4 teaspoon of cayenne pepper
- a pinch of salt and black pepper
- whatever veggies you want, I went for...
- half a red pepper
- half an avocado
- a handful of cherry tomatoes
- a spring onion
- a chunk of cucumber
Step One: Measure out around1/4 of a cup of quinoa per person, which is around 40g, then add around 100ml of water and swirl it around in a pan, drain away the water after a few minutes, this means that the quinoa won't taste bitter (hopefully!).
Step Two:Keeping the rinsed quinoa in a small/medium saucepan add around 1/2 a cup of boiling water, turn on the heat to high, put a lid on it and wait for it to boil. Once it has reached a rolling boil,add around 1/2 teaspoon of paprika, pinch of salt, pinch of pepper and a little bit of cayenne pepper. However these flavours can be changed to suit you.
Step Three: Whilst the quinoa is cooking it's time to chop your chosen vegetables/meats/fish etcetcetc- basically anything you want to add to your quinoa.
I hope you find now that quinoa isn't that impossible grain that seemed so scary, and that you can use this method to build upon and enjoy the great food that it is!
Saturday, 5 July 2014
ABOUT
About
Hi, and welcome to this little space on the interweb! I'm a highschool student who thrives on coffee, sunsets, breakfast and brownies. I have started this blog as a place to share various recipes that are either healthy or require many bars of chocolate and jeans in a slightly larger size!So thank you for dropping by and taking a moment to browse this little page, grab a coffee and/or brownie, sit back and browse the recipes to your hearts content.
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